My Doctor in New Zealand looked smugly at me and said, ‘you will love the toileting culture in Japan…the bum washing button is amazing, you will never want to use paper again’.
Rosie forgot about this flippant comment until she had to use her first toilet in Japan. A strange arm came off the side of the bowl with multiple buttons labled in secretive Japanese symbols with water fountain depictions in braille like cyphers.
I tentatively sat on the seat and oh, good lord from heaven above, it was warm! Blissfully warm, like someone else had been there only minutes before and sat on it a long time….Rosie frowned, maybe they had. Business done, paperwork in the bowl Rosie stands…the flush is not obvious…The Doctors words flash through Rosies mind, Rosie is not getting trapped on a Japanese toilet getting an involuntary colonoscopy. Thank God, the toilet knew I had abandoned it all on its own and flushed for me. Rosie backed out of the stall.
Next time Rosie was prepared and a little curious….never curious enough to actually push any of the buttons. Heres an option, music for the bashful wee-ers among us. You are in the cafe toilet, people are waiting….music is coming out of the loo stall….we know what you are doing for goodness sake!
Different water pressures for the big jobbies? What is the difference between the spray and the bidet? Front and rear?! Rosie is clenching at the thought. She will ask The Operator…normally he is up for these new experiences, alas, regretfully he was not brave enough either, ‘I’ll just do it how I have normally done it for 40 years’.
We do not sound like a couple who are out for new cultural experiences but hey, some things we can live with out trying.
On another note, the warm toilet seats are absolutely delicious! Up in the cold mountains, first thing in the morning, beautiful warm seat welcoming your bottom, heaven! Rosie is also going out there and saying all the seats are warm no matter in which public loo you ascend the throne.
Japan, you also win the award for the cleanest, most spotless public toilets anywhere in the world. Plus, they are FREE….these are the loos I actually wouldn’t begrudge paying the odd 25c a use for….especially when there are so many freebies potentially going with it.
You know how you also dread going into a public loo directly after someone else has just vacated it? You know why, we have all walked into that cloud of stench and realise then why that person exiting looked so smug or couldnt look you in the eye.
Well, there is no smell in Japanese toilets. Rosie believes the toilet knows when you are exiting and reckons it deodorizes the room….true. Now, she has never caught the toilet actually doing it…but it is a clever beast. Its that, or either all Japanes ladies number 2s smell like flowers….which wouldn’t surprise Rosie as they are all delicate looking flowers themselves.
Having left Japan, The Operator confided in Rosie that his biggest regret was not trying the toilet functions…Rosie is still in Japan and will never have this regret. She is just thankful she has not ever sat on a rogue toilet and got an electric shock or an involuntary dousing.
So, have you tried it yet?
….to scared, to timid, to boring. To used to paper….