The Famz were up early and Rosie and The Operator started the day with a beauty breakfast of Gravalax….Rosie was hoping that the Ballerina would make this fab Russian treat of salty cured salmon….actually Rosie isn’t sure what it is but must get the recipe from the Ballerina. It is a decadent way to start the day, grainy toast spread with cream cheese and Gravalax on top. We were off to the Shalom Sunday Markets and despite rumours that the Ballerina takes an age to get ready when going out….we had hit the road by 9.00am.
The market was huge! Right up Rosies alley, The Operator and The Buffoon already had defeated looks in their eyes as they trailed us ladies around. The market had something for everyone, fresh fruit and veges, sauces, jams, herbal remedies, soaps, plants, handicrafts, scrapbooking, baking….everything was covered.
The Ballerina is partial to owls….Rosie took a swifty pic for her so she can make one herself in the future. PS Ballerina my photos are in the post to you. Rosie loved browsing the bric a brac tables and second hand treasure…there was also a great second hand book dealer there with all the latest titles….Rosies head was spinning, so much to see….
The boys were standing in the shade on the periphery looking like humbugs. A young girl of about 13 in jeans and pigtails came and set up a microphone next to them. They watched in amusement as she turned on her tape deck, turned on the mic and waited for the feedback to settle…people had turned to her in anticipation thinking, nwwaaaa, how cute and brave….then she opened her mouth, the sun sparkled on the coloured braces she had on her teeth….and started singing. Out of her mouth came the most god awful out of tune song sung in the most broadest Australian accent you could imagine. The Buffoon picked up his jaw from the ground and went over and gave her a couple of bucks…he felt sorry for her and the sign in front of her said she was saving all money collected…for singing lessons, bless. She bloody well needs them The Buffoon said. Then in true Bunderberger style, the stall holder next to the singing banshee told The Buffoon off for giving her money…they didn’t want to encourage her so she would move on…haha poor Buffoon, couldn’t win.
The Ballerina had a tight schedule today, Rosie could have wandered around here for another hour but we had a tour booked at the famous/infamous Bundaberg Rum Factory…Rosie quickly bought some mushrooms to take home to her garden and we were off….did Rosie mention she hates rum…..
Lets talk about sugar cane….in Queensland 400,000 hectares of sugar cane is grown. Around 38 million tonnes of sugar cane is crushed annually producing 5.3 million tonnes of raw sugar (enough to fill more than 1,000 Olympic swimming pools). Queensland produces 95 percent of all Australian raw sugar. Sugar is Australias second largest export market. Do you think Rosie took a picture of a sugar cane field….no. Its essentially bambooy looking with a grassy green top. After The Buffoon had told Rosie that if you wandered into a cane field a human wouldn’t last 20 mins without being stung, bitten, and consumed alive by the spiders and snakes that live in the tightly packed greenery Rosie thought she would keep well away. Credit to The Buffoons son, Kickboxer, who when caught short disappeared into the cane for a slash…..before The Buffoon could warn him….he came out unscathed.
The harvest was in full swing and a network of small gauge railway lines criss cross the whole area and wee trains bring the harvest from the fields to the Bundaberg sugar processing factory….and Fonterra was worried about one dirty pipe…look at this rickety ole place. Tiny chips of cane were blowing everywhere in the breeze. A by product of sugar manufacturing is molasses….you know where we are going right….Rosie did say she hates rum…remember that…cant stand it.
The Ballerina and The Buffoon have a cunning plan…by introducing Rosie and The Operator to the ‘delights’ of their regional brew and them being full fee paying recipient’s of a tour of the distillery, Ballerina and The Buffoon get to tour for free if they sign up as Bundaberg Rum Ambassadors….oh, that’s a free tour and free samples and a free discount book of booze savings. The only catch, you have to be local to be an Ambassador.
Well, the ginger haired receptionist at the brewery was about to have a go at Ballerina….Rosies eyes narrowed, she had Ballerinas back…’so, you are local are you… she drawled in doubting disrespect to the polite foreign accented request from Ballerina…..
‘Yes I am’ Ballerina levelly responded gently putting down her ID card on the counter….’do you want my address? You so don’t mess with the KGB, lady.
Then The Buffoon blustered up…’Yeah well, my niece works here, you know Such&Such?’ Yes, said Ginger, ‘she is in the shop..’ sarcastically and still disbelieving ‘do you want me to get her for you?’
‘No No’ said The Buffoon we will catch up with her later.
Now believe me when I say, this is a whole other story, for later…..
Only in Australia would you press a button and out of the grill comes the stench of, well as it says ‘Raw Rum’….
Lea was our tour guide and she was great! Funny, witty, script perfect and knowledgeable – we had a great tour of this place. No, Rosie was not allowed to take photos, all battery powered objects that could produce a spark…even pacemakers….hahaha, had to be locked away as this bad boy rum is wickedly flammable…says a lot really. Rosie hates rum.
Back in 1888, a band of sugar millers faced an overwhelming oversupply of molasses and came up with an ingenious solution: Bundaberg Rum. OK the brewery has 300 storage barrels of rum, each storage barrel holds 6 million dollars worth of rum…the factory has 1.8 billion dollars of rum, ageing there at any time…and the Federal Government takes 66.6% of this total revenue in liquor tax…..96% of this ‘fine’ liquor is consumed in Australia, 3% goes to New Zealand to be drunk by Aussies living there and 1% is exported to the world.
When you see the bogan type people that live in the locale, you now understand why there is an electrified High Voltage fence around the whole plant…..
After the tour we have 2 free samples of Bundabergs finest, I don’t know if I have told you but Rosie does not like rum, the smell, the taste, everything about it. Rosie thought she could handle a wee thimble sample..and if not The Operator was on hand to finish it off. Come on Rosie, you are in Australia! No measly thimble sample here….they were two standard drink size samples….you are joking!!! Plus to pick up another story, The Buffoons ‘niece’ Such&Such was working the bar…Such&Such is a friend of a friend who associated with an associate of The Buffoon….this tenuous link was enough to get us all about 5 drinks each…..its not what you know, its who you know, even kind of, in Bundaberg. Rosie was red cheeked and hammered, The Ballerina was in her stride, The Operator was going for the limited edition top shelf straight up and The Buffoon, he was the lucky one…he was our sober-ish driver.
A couple of other tours had come, sampled and gone by the time we left for lunch. The Ballerina had booked us into Grunskys for lunch, everyone comes here says the Ballerina, and it was pretty busy, we waited a couple of mins and got a lovely table looking over the Burnett River that flows through the middle of the town.
It was a beautiful still day, the cloud was coming and going and the sun twinkled on the river, Rosie ordered the Bundy Barramundi speciality with Moreton Bay Bug and a dot of Caviar. The Operator had a Fresh Seafood Basket cooked to perfection. The Ballerina bought a bottle of Marlborough’s finest Sav to wash it down. A guy was entertaining the crowded restaurant with his acoustic guitar and he was good. It was after one and totally acceptable to be trashed and out in Bundaberg at this time of the day.
Had to have a photo of the Restaurants Mascot….The Ballerina must have been tiddly because she said ‘No Operator, like this, feel the spirit of the prawn’……Rosie, make sure you get all the claws in’.
The next most famous Bundaberg export and a lot more enjoyable to partake in is The Bundaberg Gingerbeer Factory…it was just about to close and deemed not hard core enough for us to visit after our day so far. We were then headed for town, The Buffoon is driving and The Ballerina navigates….you would think that The Buffoon had never visited this town before left alone lived in it…The Ballerina ‘ Dahling, turn left…Dahling turn right here…Dahling you are driving too fast…Dahling watch out for that man on the bike…Dahling, we need to turn around and go back. It was hilarious.
The Buffoon just grins and shakes his head. He starts a new driving job this week, The Operator suggested a NavMan with The Ballerinas voice giving him instructions on where to go, starting with ‘Dahling’ for every command….Rosie cannot repeat the self harm The Buffoon said he would inflict on himself if he was subjected to The Ballerina day AND night. As reward for being good boys all day The Operator and The Buffoon were aloud to look in a car yard for approximately 2 minuets while Rosie and The Ballerina waited in the car.
Bundaberg is home to 71,000 people, it has a beautiful main street full of colourful buildings and beautiful plantings. The shops are plentiful and interesting and Rosie didn’t notice an empty shop anywhere. On Sunday everything was closed and there a few cars like us just cruising the town.
This roundabout has an odd spindly looking sculpture in the middle of it…The Ballerina had to tell me its representative of Sugar Cane..
Rosie bought her postcards from a stationary shop that was open and the people were friendly and nice. Would love to come back for a proper shop like!
‘Dahling, take a left here and drive to the Old River Bridge’. Our day was winding down as Rosie and The Ballerina walked out onto the bridge. Rosie called to The Operator who was sitting in the car with The Buffoon, it was such a nice evening for a stroll. Get The Buffoon out here too called Rosie, Nah, said The Operator he said he has seen it before. Earlier in the year Cyclone Oswald had hit this area hard making the river rise over 9 metres, it covered this bridge.
3000 homes were flooded and over 7,500 people were directly affected. Looking up the river a lot of the jetties are still skeletal, there is no evidence that anything major has happened…all debris is cleared away and people have got on with their lives. Drive a few streets and you can see where houses have been damaged and abandoned, next door the houses have been completely repaired and families live in them.
A walking track lines the rivers edge and life goes on as normal. Rosie and The Operator have had a great day, time to go home for a nap.
The Ballerina and The Buffoon live on a hill in Bundaberg well away from the River. The Ballerina said she had consulted geographical maps to ensure they would not be in a flood zone if the River breached. Her research worked because they were high and dry when the floods hit. At the end of the road is an undeveloped area which at dusk hosts grazing kangaroos. The Operator was chuffed to have seen some live ones, we had only seen a couple of dead bloated ones on the edge of the highway coming over…
Bye Bye Bundaberg. Rosie and The Operator have had a fab time here. Ballerina and The Buffoon have been the best hosts and tour guides. Ballerina had met Rosies brief and totally exceeded it! Rosie can now understand the choice they have made in moving here, the days are guaranteed beautiful and warm, the lifestyle is unhurried, they have beautiful wide open spaces all around them and an exciting future to look forward too. Plus the Kiwi Famz isn’t there…..the peace and quiet…..
Ps… the rubber snake that kept appearing in all of my belongings may have frightened me the first time….but after its 6th appearance….hhhmmmm
Tomorrow – back to Brisbane and more City Bound adventures to come.
